January 23, 2007
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Intentional Television
The first 29 years of my life were lived without a television in the house. As a teen-ager I didn’t miss TV, but I hated being weird; I was allergic to otherness. One day in high school the teacher decided to do an on-the-spot survey of TV viewing habits. One by one, she queried the class and students gave the hours watched the day before. The usual replies were between two and four hours. I cringed as she came closer to calling on me. Joe Fritz, the guy in front of me, had been sick the day before and figured he watched 8 1/2 hours.
“Carol?” she droned. “How much did you watch?”I looked a little off to her left and said, “None.”
This threw her off her stride, but evidently interested her. “Wait a minute. Were you not home yesterday?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “No. I was home.”
“Is your TV broke?”
“Um…no.” [Please, please don't make me admit I don't have a TV] With each question I slid a quarter of an inch lower in my seat. I focused my attention on a spot on the floor.
“Well, how much did you watch the day before?”
Better face the music. Big sigh. I looked up and admitted, “None….we don’t have a TV.”
“You DON”T HAVE A TV?” She searched for a diplomatic way to ask about our financial status.
“Carol, is there a reason your family doesn’t have a TV?”
“Yes there is. My dad doesn’t want one.”
A similar conversation a few years ago made me laugh instead of cringe. I was at my desk at the pharmacy where I work entering numbers on Excel. There were two twenty-something co-workers in the office. One is what my husband calls a Chatty Cathy.
“[celebrity's name] had a baby girl yesterday.”I kept working and replied, “Oh. Good. [pause] Is she one of our customers?”
Pepsi came spewing out of her mouth as she choked and said, “Carol. You don’t know who [...] is?”
I paused and looked at her. “Should I know who she is?”
The twenty-something intern jumped in. “Don’t you watch Friends?”
“Well, I’ve seen a few minutes here and there, but I’ve never watched an entire episode. I’m sorry, but I’m unfamiliar with [...]“
The shock of it all disoriented them. They shook their heads trying to process the wonder of it. Giggles kept erupting from them over the next half hour. I chuckled, shrugged, smiled, and sat up straighter as I continued with my number crunching.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~This is not a screed against watching television.This is a rant against mindless viewing habits.
Roseteacup’s comment “TV is a thief to be reckoned with” has been reverberating through my week. After we got a TV, the pendulum swung and for a period our viewing diet was omnivorous. We considered getting rid of the TV, but favored controlling it over chucking it. We established (and re-established – you know how slippage happens) some household rules:
1. The kids do not have open access to the TV. They need permission to even turn it on.2. Watching TV during a meal is a rare exception. There is something precious about eating around a table and talking to one another. When the World Series is on, we’ll eat while watching the game in the living room. It’s fun, but it’s not normal.3. The TV is never on for background noise. The world is full of beautiful music to listen to. Silence allows you to mull over ideas. Serenity is nigh impossible with a TV on.
4. People always trump programs. When someone knocks on the door the TV goes off. No. matter. what. We honor our visitor by listening and looking at them with our full attention. When we talk on the phone we leave the room if the TV is on.
5. Decide the level of intake in advance. When we’re tired, weary, bored, etc. the default response is not to turn the television on. It grips, it sucks, it scoops you in – but it rarely satisfies.
We have found this to be a part of life which requires regular, systematic evaluation. There are some great shows to watch. But they don’t always remain great shows to watch. Television is a medium which delivers some that is profitable and much that is wretched. Too many times I have watched a program that was substandard, but was too passive, too engaged (or is it disengaged?), to click Off. When I go to a nursing home I notice the comatose habits of the residents in front of the box; I **so** don’t want that to be the way I live life at age 75.
Thoughts? Any yeahbuts?
Comments (9)
…except that today there are so many more choices than just ABC, NBC and CBS, like when we were kids! This can be positive and negative, as most things. I bet you would have enjoyed watching the documentary I saw last night on the home-schooled family with 16 kids, which was followed by ANOTHER program about a different family of 16 home-schooled kids, both of whom appear to be Christians. This is not to mention all the great nature, history and medical shows that abound. I also watched a new series last night on veterinarian interns that was fascinating. I DO agree with you about how mindless it can be, and that it’s easy to be sucked into. “All things in moderation….”
Your “house rules” are very similar to ours. Occasionally, we have pizza and movie night and do eat dinner in front of the tv, but it is rare.
I agree heartily!
Great Household rules. We don’t have a TV in my house right now but if we get one we will probably have simmilar rules.
We grew up without a TV, aslo the choice of my parents. I didn’t mind being different but would go to my friends house adn pick up on things I ‘missed’ LOL!! We watched the “Monkeys”, the TV “Wizard of OZ”, and some stargazer or star guy show that the true name eludes me now, because they had taped them (and we were infatuated with the star guy and the drummer on the monkeys …..thats embarassing to admit!) . I actually miss being able to say we don’t have a TV and the ensuing questions of “do you have a toaster and what do you do for fun.” We don’t have cable so when the kids get a question for some pop show that they can’t answer my rote answer is “we don’t have TV” well, thats not exactly accurate so I have to clarify and say that we DO have a TV we just don’t have cable. Somehow it’s stranger to people to actually not have a TV at all than it is to not have cable. Still, we watch too much TV for my liking, the kids still manage at least an hour or two a day……..Thats going to have to change……Thanks for the inspiration!
Kcaarin
From time to time our family has been tv-less. My unsaved inlaw siblings actually considered it “child-abuse” (!) and told us so. I think we have purchased at least two of our tvs when the World Series was on. Now one of our rules is to ask the question. “Would I feel comfortable watching this with Jesus?” (not that He would) I agree with Limbo lady that there are some wonderful things on cable that are educational and a delight. We have the ovation network and it has some excellent things. Your rules beautifully help us reckon with the “thief”. Thanks
In my married life, we have always owned televisions. About ten years ago, we disconnected the cable service and therefore couldnt receive any shows. That was GOOD for the family. However, DH is a big movie buff and rents/buys movies often. It is something his daughters enjoy with him very much.
All that to say, that I believe it is more important (in our parenting) to *model* self discipline with TV- watching than to ban the TV from the house all together. So, we had rules…like *no TV watching on school nights.*
Dana in GA
When I moved out of my mother’s house in 1981 until we moved to this house in 1997, I either didn’t own a TV or did not have TV reception. We didn’t even have a VCR, let alone a DVD player, until 1998. Going without helped me go from a TV veg head in my childhood to an occasional “sports game, State of the Union address, rent a movie” person. For me, and my addictive tendencies, this is a better way to live.
When one of our sons was little, we were watching a football game on TV and he asked us to pause it so he could use the restroom. The concept of this being real time, actually happening in a real city somewhere, was a foreign concept to him (-:
Diane
Very thoughtful post!
I’ve always owned a TV. In my single years it was a very small black and white one. I remember watching the final episode of M*A*S*H on that one. We haven’t had cable or satellite TV in over six years and we haven’t missed much. We get CBS, FOX and three PBS stations. We watch a lot of movies (Netflix or rented) and borrow DVDs of TV shows we’ve missed and want to see. When Terry is home, the TV is usually on after dinner. When he isn’t (last night, for example), the TV is only on if there is something special to watch. Last night, Cassie and I never turned it on and didn’t miss it a bit. I never have it on during the day unless there is something special like President Ford’s funeral or some huge breaking news or weather.
Now, the internet seems to be a bigger distraction and temptation for me these days…..
Blessings,
Sandy
Sandy – BINGO!