Month: February 2007

  • Guys Holding Babies

     

    "He's just like his dad," she said. "He loves to hold babies."

     

    She was describing my grandson, but a memory of my own dad flashed into my mind. He would stand at the back of the chapel, a baby cradled in his arm as he shook hands with folks leaving.  Even though he had carried around seven babies of his own, if there was a baby in the room, he delighted in holding it. 

    I’m thankful to have grown up in a culture, in a community, in a family that valued, cherished and loved on babies.  I’m thankful now to be part of a community of friends who teach both their sons and daughters to hold their little siblings, to comfort them when they are distressed, to give of themselves to these little ones.  In fact, around our parts it is such a common blessing that it almost goes without notice.  

    But I look. And I see. 

    I see the Matthews and the Lukes and the Adams and the Dannys and the Steves and the Gabriels and the Michaels and the Nathans and the Jesses and the Micahs – all those older brothers who comfortably and naturally tote the little tots who are their sisters and brothers.

    Because, you see, I was once the little baby who was held and cherished and protected.  I had my own Dave and Johnny and Jimmy and Danny who found joy in carrying me from the car to the house, who picked me up when I was too tired to trudge forward, whose arms went prickly dead while cradling my sleeping form through a church service. 

    We often think of the nurturing of children as a strictly female occupation.  But there is a particular security in being noticed and graciously treated by a father, a grandpa, an uncle, a big brother. 

    If I were evaluating a potential husband I would watch closely when he was around children.  Certainly there are different levels of ease depending on how much experience and time he has been around little ones.  But there is a general disposition which will come out.  And a friendly exchange, a playful banter between a three year old and that potential husband would melt my heart faster than a dozen roses or a box of chocolates any day of the year.


     
    My beloved holding our second son after he cut the cord, etc.

    It is such a joy to watch my son as a daddy; he's one of the best!

    My dad holding his firstborn.   JWH, October 3, 1922 - February 14, 1987

  • Tarradiddle

    Wah Wah!  I've got a nasty head cold and a wicked sore throat.  My son's school is on autopilot and I'm tucked into the recliner sucking Vitamin C drops, sipping water, solving Sudokus and savoring Anthony Trollope.  But the day cannot be listed among the liabilities if we have learned a new word, can it?  Tarradiddle ranks up there with canoodling and tchah!  Here is the context:

    O Lady Lufton!  Lady Lufton! did it not occur to you, when you wrote those last words, intending that they should have so strong an affect on the mind of your correspondent, that you were telling a -- tarradiddle?

    [...]

    In these days we are becoming very strict about truth with our children: terribly strict occasionally, when we consider the natural weakness of the moral courage at the ages of ten, twelve, and fourteen.  But I do not know that we are at all increasing the measure of strictness with which we, grown-up people, regulate our own truth and falsehood.  Heaven forbid that I should be thought to advocate falsehood in children; but an untruth is more pardonable in them than in their parents.  Lady Lufton's tarradiddle was of a nature that is usually considered excusable -- at least with grown people; but, nevertheless, she would have been nearer to perfection could she have confined herself to the truth.    ~ Anthony Trollope in Framley Parsonage

  • Music in the Morning

    For the virtuoso, musical works are in fact nothing but tragic and moving materializations of his emotions: he is called upon to make them speak, weep, sing and sigh; to recreate them in accordance with his own consciousness.  In this way he, like the composer, is a creator, for he must have within himself those passions that he wishes to bring so intensely to life.               ~ Franz Liszt

    You see, playing the piano is a combination of Brain, Heart and Means.  And all three should be even.  If one falls short of the others, the music suffers.  Without Brains, you are a fiasco.  Without Means, you are an amateur.  Without Heart, you are a machine.  It has its dangers, this occupation.    ~Vladimir Horowitz

    After we have completed our morning routine of Psalm, prayer, poetry, and catechism, we listen to music that can accompany our educational pursuits. Music with lyrics competes with the studies, so it is not part of our morning repertoire.  My son leans towards Lord of the Ring and Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks and often pops one in the CD player.  However, we both enjoy Bach, George Winston, Phil Coulter, Yo-Yo Ma, Celtic anything, etc.  The Adagio series are also lovely soundtracks for study.

    The Great Synthesis:  After reading My Life with the Great Pianists by Franz Mohr, I began collecting music by some of the great pianists referenced in the book.  Saturday, this peaceful, contemplative Horowitz CD arrived in the mail.  As I type this I'm listening to Robert Schumann's Träumerei, the piece that Noah Adams wrote about playing in his book Piano Lessons, a journal of his year of piano lessons begun at age 51.  Horowitz plays to perfection Beethoven's "Pathetique" Sonata, a lovely adagio one of my piano students is beginning.

    There you have it - music for both my vocation and avocation.  Vita é bella!

  • Fine Art Friday

    Pastourelle (Shepherdess) (1889)
    by William Bouguereau

    I'm listening to Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy and this picture closely resembles my mind's picture of Tess.  Tess's story is a sad tale: she grew up in a dysfunctional family, was assaulted by a "gentleman", struggled as a single mother, lost her baby, and moved away to start anew.  This book reminds me of Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter.  I've never before read Hardy; listening is an easy way to get some exposure to this author I feel I ought to know. 

    Listening to Hardy is an odd juxtaposition to reading Wendell Berry.  Hardy makes you indignant and angry about the tragedy of this young woman, the toil and drudgery of her life as a dairy maid; he is unsettling and edgy.  Berry paints pictures of healthy, nourished families within an agrarian community where work is valued, souls are fed, generations are connected, and hope abounds.  

  • Random

    Opera practice (Carmen) continues.  The director put us into groupings with little back-stories to play out when we're not singing.  I keep a boarding house for the four girls in my group who work at the cigarette factory.  I'm supposed to guard their reputation.  Opera choruses, so we're told, have only 4 jobs: to be happy, sad, angry or shocked.  We are a happy chorus.

    ~  Honestly?  The best part of the Super Bowl for me?  Billy Joel's piano playing during the National Anthem.  Diminished and augmented chords - I really liked his style of playing.  And I was thankful that he sang it straight.  All the note-bending attempts of some singers to be cutting-edge are wearisome.

    ~  A family of cougars moved onto the hill about three blocks from our house.  They have been harrassing humans; there were three reports last weekend.  It is my goal to hike to the top of this hill on my 50th birthday.  I am by nature a wuss.  You see the problem. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

    ~ This week my son and I will finish reading through the Latin Psalms.  We started in September 2004, reading about 10 verses a day.   We don't get it all; we read through the English translation too. Nevertheless, certain phrases are embedding themselves in us.

    ~ I refuse to buy boring postage stamps.  My current favorites are Baseball Sluggers.  I was so sad when they ran out of Mary Cassatt stamps. Which ones do you like?

    ~  If you had a guest bedroom on the southwest corner of your house, with oak floors and one southern window, which colors would you recommend for the walls and accent?  I'm floundering at making a decision.  Monochromaticism has been a previous decorating sin I wish to repent of without swinging to garishness.  Do you have a guest room?  What color is it?

  • Poetry as Furniture

    From

    Field Observations: An Interview with Wendell Berry
    by Jordan Fisher-Smith

    The country in front of us now falls off steeply toward Cane Run and
    the horse barn. Berry says he hunted squirrels here as a boy. As we
    begin to descend, I am thinking about boyhood and Berry's poetry, and I
    ask Berry if he agrees that school children should be reintroduced to
    the lost institution of memorizing and reciting poems.

    "Yes," he replies, "you've got to furnish their minds."

    The idea of poetry as furniture expands within my imagination and for
    weeks, I think about a poem committed to memory as an old chest of
    drawers in the corner of a child's room. At first the thing is simply a
    place to put clothes. With time, the grown man, or grown woman learns
    to see more of it: toolmarks left by the hand of a long-dead craftsman,
    a cornice molding around its top in a shape found on ancient Greek
    temples. And by gazing at its sturdiness for so many years, he or she
    knows something about how to make things that last.

  • Financial Advice for Sons

    In a sentence: real estate trumps wheels

    When we took car trips our teenaged boys used to scan the horizon looking for cool cars.  Their heads swiveled as they yelled, "Jaguar!" with whatever mysterious letters that are part of car models: XK, SE, GTS, CLK, MKS, MKZ, yadda, yadda, yadda. 

    They saved their paper route and lawn care earnings and bought their first car or truck when they were 15 or 16.  Rule # 1 was that they had to pay cash for the vehicle (a rule we have followed ourselves).  Money is the number one struggle for many marriages. We wanted them to learn to wait, especially with an optional purchase, and to view voluntary debt with disgust.  No car payments allowed. 

    Beyond that, I was attempting to change their view, persistently persuading them to think house instead of car.  If you drop all your available funds into a car, where will you find a down payment for a house?  I explained the tax law which is quite favorable to handyman-guys willing to build up some sweat equity. 

    You can purchase a house, a junker; live in it for at least two years while you fix it up into a cute starter home; sell it, and reinvest your gain into another house.  The gain, if you reinvest, is tax free.  The sticking point is getting into the first house/trailer/shack.   It's tough.  It takes long-term perspective.  But it can be done.  Our oldest son bought a home when he was nineteen with minimal assistance from us.   

    Higher education plays a considerable part in the puzzle.   It is expensive.  I prayed that my  middle son would graduate from college debt-free, and the answer has been  "No."  My intention is to do a better job researching avenues to ameliorate the load for our youngest.   Our assistance has been  minimal - part of me wishes it were more. The other part likes the independence and strength that develops when you put yourself through. 
     

  • Wendell Berry

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    wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry
    wendellberry wendellberry      i love his writing       wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry
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    wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry
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    wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry wendellberry

    I read two short stories aloud to my husband and son this weekend: The Hurt Man and Don't Send a Boy to Do a Man's Work.   After hearing The Hurt Man my husband exclaimed, "That's some of the best writing I've ever heard." I want to get up in the middle of the night and read more.  I want to grab people, stop them in their tracks and make them listen.  I want to buy 50 copies and pass them out left and right.   I am smitten.

    Here are a few phrases which have captured me:

    At the age of five Mat was beginning to prepare himself to help in educating his grandson, though he did not know it.

    The shape of his hand in printed on the flesh of my thigh as vividly as a birthmark.  This man who was my grandfather is present in me, as I felt always his father to be present in him.

    At those times she lived in his love as in a spacious house.

  • Fine Art Friday

    Back from the Market, 1739
    Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin

    From A Short History of Art by Janson and Janson:

    "Back from the Market shows life in a Parisian middle-class household.  Here we find such feeling for the beauty hidden in everyday life, and so clear a sense of spatial order, that we can compare him only to Vermeer.  However, Chardin's technique is quite unlike any Dutch artist's.  His brushwork renders the light on colored surfaces with a creamy touch that is both analytical and lyrical.  To reveal the inner nature of things, he summarizes forms, and subtly alters their appearance and texture, rather than describing them in detail.  Chardin's genius discovered a hidden poetry in even the most humble objects and endowed them with timeless dignity.  His many still lifes avoid the sensuous appeal of their Dutch predecessors.  In Back from the Market, he treats the platter, bottles, and earthenware pot with a respect close to reverence.  Beyond their shapes, colors, and textures, they are to him symbols of the life of common people."

    Beauty hidden in everyday life. 

    Sigh.

    Happy Friday.

  • The Opus of Opera

    Opus (n. singular) - work
    Opera (n. plural of opus) - works, theatrical performance set to music

    The Opus of Opera is baaaad Latin.  What I mean to communicate in the title is the toil it takes to put an opera on, Labor Operum.   Opus means creative work.  So please excuse my Latin and let's move on.

    Some of you know that my brother is an opera singer, a tenor to be specific.   Guess what?  Next week, I get to be an opera singer for one night!  The Portland Opera is sending a team out to the hinterlands to  put on  an abridged version of Carmen by Bizet.  The local Children's Choir, the Community Choir and the university Chamber Choir will sing the chorus parts of the final act.

    We've been rehearsing, getting the music memorized, singing ourselves silly with the final, famous chorus. Altos are singing high Es and F#s at full-bore!  I've been looking for a sample of the dum DEE da dum dum tune we're singing and this is the closest I could get.  Go to Disc 2, track 2, Les Voici La Quadrille.  Alas, we're singing a perfectly wretched English translation.  I've always wanted a chance to use my high school French.

    Next week we rehease with the Opera Company and learn to move and dance on stage while we sing.  There is safety in numbers, right? Yikes!  Oh, what great fun it will be for this middle-aged mama!